The girls and I leave the house all together about 1 to 2 times a week. Few outings are complete without the following conversation...It really does happen everywhere...Taco Bueno, Walmart church, anywhere really. Today it happened to be the doctor's office. Here is the typical exchange...
Well intentioned onlooker: Wow, 4 girls?
Me: Yes. -SMILE-
Them: Are they all yours?
Me: They are! -SMILE-
Them: How old are they?
Me: Almost 9, Just turned 6, Almost 4, and 19 months (I would just give current ages, but then the children correct me and clarify the birthdays and it just gets complicated)
Them: You don't look old enough.
Me: I'm not!
Next could be a variety of choices including:
Them: Were you trying for a boy?
Me: No.
Them: Poor Daddy!
Me: He actually LOVES it!
Them: Are you done?
Me: I'm done being pregnant. (This confuses most, we have always felt that adoption will be in our future...I always assumed we would want more girls, but God is really softening our hearts towards boys!)
Them: OH, I feel sorry for you guys in about ten years.
Me: We can't wait!
Them: WOW, 4 weddings!
Me: I know, SO fun!!!
Them: Well, they're precious! You've got your hands full!
Me: Yes, but its fun!
I hate that people always look at our girls a such a 'handful'. I try very hard to diffuse the negitivity by speaking well of our children. My resopnses don't always reflect my feelings that very moment, at the moment I probably want to tie one or more of my sweet girls to a chair! However, I want to share the attitude of joy in mothering my children that I have deep down. I think the world has really robbed us of embracing the blessing of family. We are trained to look at children as sweet playthings that we can put on a shelf when they are holding us back or putting a burden on our time, our finances, careers, social lives etc. This has been a struggle for me, but I want model to them a committed love that God has for His children. I want to model what it looks like to lay down my life to serve God in whatever way He calls me to...even if I would choose to serve Him in a different way. I've also noticed lately that my girls listen to how I speak to others, especially where it concerns them. I want them to be able to trust me to speak well of them so that they can trust me with their hearts.
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11 comments:
Yeah...these encounters are hard. I've said things like, "Yes, their all ours, from my very own body." I learned to say, "We're just blessed!"
I love your positive attitude--that will shut people up more than anything!
Oh that's sooo good! We have three girls now and we hear it too. I love my sweet munchkins and there is nothing about them that is burdensome. Well, almost nothing! LOL!!
aww Christi that is cute! I think its soo good your girls have such a great mom! Most parents look at it as a pain, and it makes me soo happy you appreciate them to the fullest! God'll bless you for your loving heart :) dont ever get discouraged by what people say!!
and thank you for the comment on my blog :) you're so sweet!
love ya!
I get this too. We get "Oh, poor little girl, with all those brothers!" To which I tell them how she is treated like a princess by each one. I think a lot of times people are just curious and maybe actually just making conversation just because often mine has to do with their hair. You are right, it is so important how we respond to these questions. Those little ears are always listening!
Amen...sista! My two cents. Family is the WORST!
I mean comments from family are the worst!
Once again Christie, very encouraging. I only have 2, and I get frustrated so easily sometimes. I am reminded that they are always listening, and I really need to speak positively to them and about them.
Well stated Christie! I am glad you have all those girls, maybe you can manage a day out to play? You are VERY blessed!
I just love this so much! Almost every time I go somewhere someone makes refers to Silas and sometimes Micah as her or she because of their hair. I have to tell them that it is easy to mistake them for a girl with thei gorgeous hair :) I love you and your sweet girls. I will emai you later about our visit with our adoption worker. You have to adopt with me someday....since we can't be preggo together anymore...maybe we can adopt together :)
I have to agree with Deliese that I usually get a comment about "wow, 3 boys and a girl! That poor thing..." or "well, atleast you got your girl!" or "I would have stopped after a boy and girl" or "you don't look old enough" or "4 kids, you must be busy!". No I sit and eat bon bons and watch Dr Phil religiously. thanks.
I do try to talk nicely too, I mean geesh, its 4. Its not 12. Its not 8. And even if it were, why is that so wierd these days? God forbid we have more than our average 2.2 kids we should have. Yeah, a bit bitter :)
I love the Gunkel girls!!
I think anything outside of 2 kids puts some people in awe. 3 is more common but 4 is definitely over the line. In a fast paced, self-centered society, why would anyone choose to have more things they have to spend their time, money, and efforts on?
Thank goodness we have our hearts, minds, and goals focused on much bigger causes...the ones we were called to do for our creator.
You are such a good mommy!
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