How sweet the sound!

I read this quote last week and it made me sit and smile. :)

Grace is the embrace of God's acceptance in our humiliation.

I don't know about you, but I could use an embrace in my humiliation. I just love the way He loves me.

Oh my! You have your hands full!!!

The girls and I leave the house all together about 1 to 2 times a week. Few outings are complete without the following conversation...It really does happen everywhere...Taco Bueno, Walmart church, anywhere really. Today it happened to be the doctor's office. Here is the typical exchange...

Well intentioned onlooker: Wow, 4 girls?
Me: Yes. -SMILE-
Them: Are they all yours?
Me: They are! -SMILE-
Them: How old are they?
Me: Almost 9, Just turned 6, Almost 4, and 19 months (I would just give current ages, but then the children correct me and clarify the birthdays and it just gets complicated)
Them: You don't look old enough.
Me: I'm not!

Next could be a variety of choices including:
Them: Were you trying for a boy?
Me: No.

Them: Poor Daddy!
Me: He actually LOVES it!

Them: Are you done?
Me: I'm done being pregnant. (This confuses most, we have always felt that adoption will be in our future...I always assumed we would want more girls, but God is really softening our hearts towards boys!)

Them: OH, I feel sorry for you guys in about ten years.
Me: We can't wait!

Them: WOW, 4 weddings!
Me: I know, SO fun!!!

Them: Well, they're precious! You've got your hands full!
Me: Yes, but its fun!

I hate that people always look at our girls a such a 'handful'. I try very hard to diffuse the negitivity by speaking well of our children. My resopnses don't always reflect my feelings that very moment, at the moment I probably want to tie one or more of my sweet girls to a chair! However, I want to share the attitude of joy in mothering my children that I have deep down. I think the world has really robbed us of embracing the blessing of family. We are trained to look at children as sweet playthings that we can put on a shelf when they are holding us back or putting a burden on our time, our finances, careers, social lives etc. This has been a struggle for me, but I want model to them a committed love that God has for His children. I want to model what it looks like to lay down my life to serve God in whatever way He calls me to...even if I would choose to serve Him in a different way. I've also noticed lately that my girls listen to how I speak to others, especially where it concerns them. I want them to be able to trust me to speak well of them so that they can trust me with their hearts.

This is the day the Lord has made, I will be glad and rejoice in it!!!

My second daughter lost her first tooth last night. Here is the thing though...it was only lose for TWO days! She confessed last night to trying to pry apart two waffle blocks with her teeth which obviously sped up the process!!! I never even saw it coming...Im pretty sure I JUST gave her Orajel on her pacifier for cutting the first set, and now she's LOOSING THEM??? UGH. Lesson #803 in SAVORING each moment. I am in the process of shedding every extra ounce of weight that holds me back from floating away in the joy that the Lord has given me in this life. Not that I will not have a burden to carry, but I refuse to let any amount of bondage hold me down. I want to drown myself in nail polish and dollhouse furniture, hairbows and sippy cups, memory verses and crayons...for someday, all to soon, these things will be part of my past...not my present. And there will be a touch of sadness each time I see a baby blanket or a little pink Bible.

Lord, thank you for trusting me with your children. It is a gift and an honor. I pray that you continually remind me to drink in each moment for this season will soon pass me by.

This can't be normal...

I need to have a public pity party. Would you mind humoring me for a minute? I have had quite the day...and it is now 8:30am. I can remember a day when I NEVER even saw 8:30AM. Today my day started at 5:30AM. I love starting my day early...but I like to do it ALONE with Jesus. UGH...anyway, all before breakfast I have woke up to a sobbing teething toddler, fed her breakfast, teething tablets, back to bed...time with God, half of a pilates video until the 8 year old wakes up, who enjoys a good pilates workout...and being the dancer she is thinks its cool to critique her mother who is less like Gumby, more like...well, not Gumby. So we turn the video off. The rest of the sweet angels awake and the games begin...including, but not limited to...fighting over the Leapster, getting the book away from the dog, 3 changes of panties for the one with diarrea (sp?), start laundry, argue with children who don't want to do chores...argue with same child who doesn't want to get dressed, answer questions like, 'Is Jesus awake?' and 'Where is my suitcase?' (Is she going somewhere?), and 'How much are pots for plants?' No, you cant do your Webkinz or watch TV. Start laundry, get dressed and brush teeth...take the mascara away from the 3 year old, and the paint and paint brush away from the dog...Could someone find her bone? Make breakfast...clean up breakfast. OH, I need to call our 9AM playdate and warn her about diarrea girl...SIGH. Off to wipe a bottom...break up a fight and say, "NO, you can not paint...go read a book!"

Thanks for listening.

Ask a child...

The other day I sat my oldest two girls, Cassadie,8, and Natalie, 6, down and asked them a question that I had been meditating on. I asked them 'What do you think is most important to God?'

Here are their answers...

• Us, His children
• That we love Him
• That we focus on Him
• Praising Him
• Praying
• Worship
• Going to church to learn about Him
• Spending time with Him in our hearts
• The ten commandments
• Not fighting with each other
• Love others
• Not lying
• Don't hide from Him even if we made bad choices (I think this might be my favorite)

After giving these answers, they felt the list was complete and I let them go play. I sat and looked at their list for a minute and 'pondered them in my heart' and I smiled with Jesus for a couple of reasons. One, I was very pleased that for the most part their responses reflected that they understand that RELATIONSHIP is what is most important to God. That is what I was hoping to see in this snapshot of their hearts. But second of all, the Lord and I had to have a moment remembering together that the fact that these sweet girls of mine know Him at their young age is a treasured miracle. The miracle of a changed legacy. What a gift. What a powerful and merciful God. A God who rescues messed up people from themselves, grabs hold of their hearts, melts the sin away and heals the wounds...That is a God of love. Everlasting Love. Redeeming Love. An undeserved Love. But a TRUE LOVE.

Thank you, Lord, for your Grace. What joy to know you! What joy that my children, YOUR children, know you. And LOVE you. Only by Your grace.

Oh, how I love Jesus!

REST is GOOD!

My sweet hubby is back at work this week. Last week he was on vacation, he was home for 9 days. We had the best week! We didn't do anything special except just hanging out together as a family. It was great. I loved waking up each day, later than normal, drinking coffee together, deciding together what we would do that day. We made it through with surprisingly very little conflict. Yesterday he went back to work. I was nervous about how the kids would adjust....And me! :) It went well though. Tim was physically VERY tired last night. (He does A LOT of heavy lifting all day) But over all we all felt refreshed, refocused and refueled in HIM. I think He has taught me that it is good to rest (hints the whole sabaath idea, I suppose!) This year I commit to letting my heart, mind, and body REST in Him more often.

Uh...didn't they say they would help???

The Home Depot people? Isn't that what they promise? You can do it. WE can help??? Well, we went and bought their paint and no one in an orange apron came with it! I just need the world to know that I HATE TO PAINT!!! For Christmas one of the things we got the girls was a big box of brand new bathroom decor for their VERY girlie 'Dancing' theme bathroom. The box of course included a gallon of very PINK paint. Well, its 10:46 and the first coat is on with hopefully only one more to go.

We have lived here for a year and a half and have now painted every room in our house except the laundry room and a small bathroom. The sad thing is we aren't done. We still have to paint our baseboards in our living room and hallway where we stained the concrete (Tim got a little sloppy) which we are going to actually end up putting wood floors over. The concrete was an affordable in between step because we couldn't afford to do the wood just yet, but I couldn't stand the carpet anymore.

You see we are the king and queen of, 'It can't be that hard!' Well, it usually is, and we usually end up with an additional project just to clean up our mess. UGH.

Anyway, there is no spiritual analogy here...just me needing to get away from the paint fumes for a little while. I guess I should go back in there and make sure Tim hasn't passed out in the pinkness!

I'll post pictures when its done if I can figure out how.

Is His grace really enough...

Or do we want more from Him? My husband and I were talking the other night about checking the motive of our hearts when claiming to do something for the Lord. (common theme lately) We were discussing a story that our pastor told this weekend of a man who had been on the recieving end of a micro-mission. He was on drugs and did not know Christ, but through the people serving him God soften his heart and he gave his life to the Lord. A year later, he was off of drugs, in a Life Group, married and serving on a micro-mission himself. He said that he was just so thankful for God's grace in his life that He wanted to give back to Him.

Tim and I talked about what pure motives this man had. Our talk lead into looking at our own sin of complaining rather having a thankful heart. One of us said you know instead of complaining about doing something we should be thankful that we have a house to clean or healthy children to take care of, or a job that provides for our family, etc...or whatever 'blessing' corresponds with our complaint.

But then we thought...What if we didn't? What if we didn't have all of these things? Like Job, what if we lost it all? Would we still be thankful? Would we still consider ourselves 'blessed'? Would His grace be enough for us to still praise Him or do we try to make Him 'earn' our love with things, relationships, circumstances...?

Lord, help us to know you in a way that we are so taken by who you are that You in yourself are all we need...all we even desire.

Job 1:20-21 Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”

The Much Awaited...

Worshipping God thru laundry and hairbows! It's really not as spectacular as it sounds...if that even sounds spectacular. I just wanted to share something that God and I have been working on for well all of my walk with Him...


When I got pregnant with Cassadie at 19 I began my journey to perfection. I wanted SO BADLY to be THE perfect mom. I'm just now realizing 9 years later that there isn't one.


I worked SO hard! Nursery decor, strollers and car seats, clothes, hair bows, pediatritans, birthday parties, play groups, Christmas dresses, scrapbooks....they were ALL such a HUGE deal. I would drive anywhere and special order everything!


So, shortly after meeting Jesus, He began working on this 'disorder' of mine and peeling the layers away. Slowly but surly giving me more and more freedom. SO much freedom! I could finally BREATHE! But I began to develop an aversion to all that I once was, and as baby after baby after baby arrived I looked around and noticed that I had slowly stopped outwardly and actively LOVING my children. Now, please do not take that statement and run until you hear me explain. I still, always and forever have LOVED my children. I just was not very good at showing them. I developed a fear of mother/child intimacy. All of their physical needs and most of their emotional needs were being met and I felt okay with that. But I had come to live each day with this tone of frustration. I forgot to recognize my children as BLESSINGS...not burdens.


When I did/do feel the conviction the way I responded was to slip back into striving for perfection. I would fail and hate myself and then give up again, staring the process of guilt, overcompensation, and failure all over again.




WELL, I'll fast forward thru a lot to my present discovery...


THE LORD WANTS ME TO LOVE HIM BY LOVING OTHERS.


My present priority 'others' are my husband and four sweet little girls.




I KNOW that for so long I truly believed that serving my family by giving them the most organized home, the best education, and the cutest clothes, etc...was loving them and in turn, loving God. Well, I was loving alright...I have no doubt about that. Loving ME. It was ALL about me. So self-seeking...Love is not self-seeking. I wanted all of those thing in order to gain the approval of man...not God.


However, the other extreme of complete laziness was/is just as much sin. The reason I did the things I did was because I did not know HOW to love. But I also refused to let Him teach me and to do the hard things that loving requires.




SO...I think the do's and don'ts are summed up in this...MOTIVE.

He is now showing me that none of these things that I obsessed over were bad things, it was my motive that was wrong. Searching for the perfect hairbow and having a nice clean and orderly home can be done with a heart of worship BUT so can leaving the laundry in a heaping pile and painting finger nails with my girls.

This may just be a personal struggle...but it was theraputic for me to sort through these things in my mind.

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.